Up early for visit to volcanic caves. Amazing optical illusion trick at the end. Had intended to visit Jameos de Agua afterwards but by that time the coaches had arrived and I don't do queueing. Not without stabbing anyway. Then to blue lagoon beach on very north of island. Got cloudy so hot-footed it over to Caleta de Farmara or something like that anyway - long surfing beach under cliffs on north-west of island, full of crazy Norwegians. Burnt my boobies.
Cooked Spaghetti Neapolitan and drank wine and then had Big Family Holiday Row. Wooden floor boards made for particularly effective stomping upstairs and slamming doors. Richard just sat on the sofa throughout with a big question mark above his head. Someone on Twitter remarked that Big Family Holiday Row and Diarrhoea are the only two certainties of any holiday. No diarrhoea yet but hoping it won't be similarly explosive and loud.

Made up before we went to bed and this morning the air had cleared. Beautiful still day. Got to Jameos de Agua before the crowds. These are collapsed underground volcanic caves that César Manrique tarted up in the 1950s. They were very pretty but I'd hardly call them the 'eighth wonder of the world' as Rita Heyworth apparently did when she visited them in the 1960s. They weren't exactly up there with the pyramids and the hanging gardens of bloody Babylon.
Apparently there were little albino crabs in the bottom of one of the cave pools, which exist in no other place on earth. But I didn't take my glasses so I couldn't see them.
Went back to weird blue lagoon/white sand beach at Orzola, but the clouds came back so we went back south to Playas Papagayos where I finished my rubbish book by rubbish Tony Parsons.
Last night tonight, so cooking a chicken with 20 cloves of garlic. It's our last night and it's raining hahahahahahahaha.